


'cause you started something, can't you see

by Sway



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, post-1x11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:19:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6398302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sway/pseuds/Sway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus knows he’s there before Alec knocks on his door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'cause you started something, can't you see

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from “I only wanna be with you” by Dusty Springfield.

Magnus knows he’s there before Alec knocks on his door. He doesn’t need magic for that.

“What can I do for you, Alexander?” He can’t make his voice sound abrasive to save his life. 

“I… can I come in?” Apparently Alec has the same problem with trying to sound confident.

Instead of a know-it-all Shadowhunter, there is just this kid standing in front of him, hands stashed in his pockets, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other.

Magnus steps aside and lets him in. “Drink?” he offers and it feels like it’s all he’s ever doing.

“No, thanks.”

“So this isn’t a social call, then…” He fixes himself a cosmo which isn’t nearly strong enough. He could add a little magical twist to it but not until Alec has told him what this is about.

“No, I’m…,” Alec clears his throat, “I’m here to pay you for your services in Izzy’s trial.”

Magnus frowns at him over the rim of his glass. He takes a long sip, buying time to figure out where this is going. “It might be my slightly advanced age so correct me if I’m wrong but… payment has already been offered and I told you to keep your toys. Your arrows are not the pointy things I’m interested in.”

“Can you not do that? Can you not… make everything some cheesy pick-up line?” Alec snaps at him, the sudden rage darkening his eyes.

“Cheesy? There’s no need to insult me, Alexander.” Magnus sits down on the couch, crosses his legs and takes another sip. “Now, what is this payment you’re offering?”

Alec blushes and it’s infuriatingly adorable. He has his eyes glued to the floor and when he doesn’t answer for a full minute, Magnus suspects he won’t say anything at all. This isn’t the first time he regrets never having mastered mind-reading. It would come in so handy with this one.

“It’s… it’s about the wedding.”

There is that word again. Those ridiculous two syllables that never really meant anything to Magnus until now.

“What about it?” Magnus snaps, his grip tightening around the stem of his glass. “Are you offering me _two_ bags of Jordan Almonds for saving your sister’s life?”

“I’m offering you my first kiss, okay?”

The silence that follows is deafening. 

Alec has balled his hands into fists and his entire body is shaking. He is this close to bolting or simply bursting into a million pieces right there on the spot.

Magnus watches him, searching, waiting. Searching for a hint that this is all his imagination. Waiting to finally snap awake from what is clearly a dream.

When none of his happens, Magnus clears his throat and rises. “Excuse me but I thought I just heard you say you’re offering me a kiss.” As nonchalant as he can be - which isn’t very nonchalant at the moment - he fetches himself another drink.

“You know what? Forget it.” Alec finally finds his voice again. “It was a stupid idea to come here.” He turns on his heel and heads for the door.

“Wait.” With a curl of his hand, Magnus sends a cloud of blue sparks flying at Alec’s ankle and the magic roots him to the floor. “You can’t just waltz in here, saying something like that, and expect me to…”

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” Alec interrupts him, his back still turned toward Magnus.

“I know.”

“And I don’t… I don’t want Lydia to be…,” Alec hesitates before literally spitting out the words, “I want it to be….”

Magnus wants to throw him out. Without opening the door first. He wants to throw his worst spell at Alec if only it would take that sting away. That pain of feeling like a substitute, a convenience for something Alec isn’t even sure he wants.

And at the same time, Magnus wants to rush over to where he has Alec trapped on the spot and kiss the breath out of him. He wants to show him, teach him, give him everything he knows even if it’s just for a few minutes. Even if it will only be this once.

Magnus motions again and the magical shackle dissipates. Alec stumbled two steps forward before he regains his balance again. When he still doesn’t turn around, Magnus approaches him.

“Alright,” he says as he walks around Alec, finally able to look into his face again.

Alec’s face it flushed bright red, almost swallowing the rune on his neck. He averts his gaze but Magnus is still able to see tears glitter in them.

“You will have to look at me.”

Alec swallows. Hard. He is still shaking and Magnus almost feels sorry for him. Almost - because this doesn’t need to be this way. If only Tall, Dark and Handsome would have the guts to admit what he truly wants.

“Alexander?!”

Finally Alec manages to turn his head. He looks so lost and the ‘almost’ becomes a ‘definitely’.

“I’m sorry,” he says, whispers actually.

“You don’t have to be sorry. You have to be sure.” 

Magnus reaches out and puts a hand on Alec’s arm. He can all but feel the blood rush through the boy’s veins, his nerves thrumming with anticipation. And worse, with fear.

He knows exactly what Alec is afraid of. He doesn’t need to read his mind for that. Alec fears he might like this, enjoy it even, so much so that he’ll stay, that he’ll forget his responsibilities towards Lydia and his family. That he’ll break the rules - his rules - again and leap into something outside the corset of Shadowhunter law.

“I’m sure,” Alec stammers. 

Magnus wants to send him home. He is fully aware they are both lying to each other. Alec isn’t even remotely sure and he himself isn’t all that confident he wants this. Not like this.

“Please.”

Alec’s voice is quiet, almost inaudible, as the word comes across his trembling lips. Magnus knows it’s that quiver in his tone that’s doing him in, that makes him do anything Alec asks from him right now. Even if it’s breaking his heart three times over.

Magnus moves his hand from Alec’s arm to his waist, fingers inching beneath his leather jacket, as he closes in on him. Alec seems impossibly tall and impossibly hot and Magnus is almost as scared as he is, if only for different reasons. 

“Last chance,” he quips, unsure what he is referring to.

“I know,” Alec returns and his eyes flutter shut, his head dipped down.

Alec tastes like petrichor.

Like rain on a hot summer’s day. Like the first breath after drowning.

Their kiss is shy and tentative. And it’s addictive.

Magnus knows he’ll never have enough of this but that it will all be gone as soon as he pulls away. So he stays, lingers, for as long as Alec lets him.

Their kiss turns from a first into a second.

Slowly, as if dipped in molasses, Magnus steps back.

“Your debt has been paid in full.” He hates the words. And he hates himself for saying them. “And with interest.”

He can’t look at Alec until he has brought a few steps of distance between them.

Alec still has his eyes closed, his hands curled into fists. He is swaying on his feet, all flushed and flustered.

Magnus wants him to stay, wants him not to go back to the Institute, wants him not to get married. None of this is fair, to any of them. A ‘buy two get one free’-package of broken hearts.

“You can see yourself out,” Magnus says with all the bravado he can muster which used to be more. 

He walks past Alec not without ever so slightly brushing up against him. One last time.

“Goodbye, Alexander.”


End file.
